My life.
On one hand.
I'm lonely.
I miss just having someone to spend time with, go out for pancakes with, stay in and play video games with, hold and care about and buy things for.
(I like to give presents)
I'm sick of thinking that I'm over him, feeling only a slight feeling of sadness and a bit of loathing all day, only to have it come crashing back down on me, or have a reminder crammed down my throat when I least expect it.
I don't want to be this person anymore but he keeps dragging me back into my old, withered shell and I keep letting it happen because I don't have anything else.
Nothing else to distract me.
On the other.
What's available here?
In this place?
I'm a little high-maintenance, it's true.
I like attention, I like to feel that I'm cared about.
I don't need to be by their side 24/7 but I like to know that when we're together, they're happy to be with me.
I spend most of the money, pick the outings, make the effort.
I want people to know I care about them.
But I like a boy who will keep me on my toes.
Not play games, necessarily.
Just... be witty, get me riled up, push my buttons just a little.
You know.
I can't do these emotional boys.
"Let's be completely honest with each other" he says.
I barely know you.
You haven't even asked me on a date and you're asking if I would have said yes before I moved away, if I would have asked you if I hadn't been dating him.
Does it matter?
It didn't happen for a reason and you're ruining your chances now.
Just ask me out right now and we can get into the details later.
You know...
I can get past your hockey-teeth, even for one date.
I can deal with your scraggly facial hair, it's even sort of cute.
I like your eyes.
I've never had a thing for boys with blue eyes before.
I can get over the fact that you're not much taller than me.
I can deal with the six-month age difference.
I don't date younger boys. Hands down.
But I'd give it a shot.
and even if I couldn't have, I would have really tried.
Because you're nice.
You eat sushi.
You make me laugh.
You'll chat over Live with me
(Even though you won't play Gears... but I could probably change that)
But I can't get past the pussification you're embodying.
Grow a pair before you take me out to dinner.
I said it before, I'll say it again.
I'm so sick of being heartbroken, it's getting old.
But how am I supposed to move on when there are no prospects in sight?
I'm not even looking, really.
There doesn't seem to be a point.
But is to go on a date with a nice boy too much to ask?
That would be wonderful.
I'm going to go watch Breakfast at Tiffanys and fall asleep.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
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6 comments:
Western society pretty much has males perpetually walking on eggshells these days -- it's a rather shitty situation for everyone. If only we could be a tad more honest and straightforward eh?
if only! It would save me a lot of hassle if I didn't have to stumble my way through the niceties.
Just an idea: try cutting through the bullshit and see were it gets you. Guys, believe it or not, tend to really respond well to that. For the most part we are pretty straightforward creatures and get this huge sense of relief (and excitement) when girls speak our language. Our REAL language that is -- the niceties you get are more or less just how we feel we have to act around women if we want to avoid being labeled an asshole or whatnot. If you can lead and change the pace, showing him it's alright to be straightforward, I get this feeling he would loosen up a bit. And it can be a hell of a turn on as well.
Wow Scott, I really appreciate the advice!
Though it may not sound like it, I try to be straightforward as often as possible; beating around the bush annoys me (hence the post). I'd much prefer it if a guy was just up-front with me, I can handle it.
Besides, it's me! I'm about as up-front and tactless (working on that...) as they come. Oops, haha.
oh for fuck's sake!!
the guy's worried that you're just going to use his as a rebound and you're pissy about that?
i know if a girl was coming off a relationship i'd make sure she's into me for me, not just to have SOMEONE. like you so aptly mentioned.
I seem to remember you asking me to call you out when you're being an asshole. This is one of those times.
Firstly you have no idea what was actually said because I didn't go into detail on purpose, he knows how long I've been single and believe me the questions weren't meant to validate whether or not I was over my ex.
The whole vibe was very insecure/needy, not cautious. So do me a favor and DISCUSS stuff like this with me before leaving an assumptive post, okay?
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